So – here we are. \u00a0The last day of 2018. \u00a0I am not a huge fan of New Year\u2019s Eve, I must admit. \u00a0I can\u2019t stand all the Resolutions – why set yourself up for failure? \u00a0I know that sounds quite cynical but to be honest, most Resolutions have hit the dust by February. \u00a0If I am going to take a monumental decision about my life I can take it at any time, it doesn\u2019t have to be 1st January. \u00a0And I also hate all the false bonhomie. \u00a0Now, don\u2019t get me wrong, I have had some great New Year\u2019s Eves but I object to being charged \u00a330 to get into a pub you\u2019ve been patronising all year. \u00a0And the social pressure of being seen to be having a good time.<\/p>\n
A good time for me this year will be sitting with a large glass of Bailey\u2019s watching the fireworks on TV, safe in the knowledge that all my loved ones are well and happy.<\/p>\n
As I write this, the Daughter is on the rooftop bar of the Sofitel Darling Harbour, Sydney, where she\u2019s having the time of her life with friends waiting for the fabulous fireworks that are less than half an hour away. \u00a0She\u2019s been sending pics of the \u2018countdown\u2019 fireworks; apparently they put on a small display every hour leading up to midnight. I hope that 2019 will bring her everything she so richly deserves. \u00a0The Brother is with his Ladyfriend in Mauritius and the Sister is in Clacton and my best wishes for their New Year, of course, goes without saying. \u00a0And my brilliant exteneded family are all over the place, but thanks to social media we\u2019re always in touch.<\/p>\n
2018 has been a strange year in many ways. \u00a0It was the first year since 2002 that I didn\u2019t spend one day of it in Antigua. \u00a0It\u2019s more than a year now since I left. \u00a0Even writing that seems weird. \u00a0I miss the Fella, and we WhatsApp all the time, but it\u2019s not the same as a hug. \u00a0However, I was a frequent visitor to Ibiza – it\u2019s so handy and easy to get to see the Daughter and I had two brilliant holidays with J at the Gran Sol. \u00a0I didn\u2019t stop laughing!<\/p>\n
It feels so good to be living back in my own home in Dagenham, although my street and the town have changed so much over the last years. \u00a0Anyone who thinks FOM is a positive thing might like to come and spend a few weeks here. \u00a0But all in all, I am happy to be home. \u00a0And I am pleased of the home I\u2019ve made out of the stinky mess of a place that Anisten Homes handed back to me. \u00a0Yeuk! \u00a0I had to put my Marigold\u2019s on to touch the light switches – and that was after they had \u2018redecorated\u2019 it! \u00a0Now it\u2019s feeling like a proper home, especially with having the Daughter here for a couple of weeks and the Sister over at Christmas, too.<\/p>\n
Creatively it\u2019s been a bit of a rollercoaster. \u00a0Only the Lonely has been well received. \u00a0I mentioned in my last blog that it\u2019s going to be part of Into the Forest at William Morris House, Waltham Forest in January. \u00a0And it\u2019s also going to be part of the British Shorts Festival in Berlin at the end of the month. \u00a0WE\u2019VE GONE INTERNATIONAL!! \u00a0Woo! \u00a0Go us! \u00a0And Veronique and I have ploughed ahead with a feature script, after doing the hokey cokey with it for a few months, so hopefully I will have more news to tell you about that as 2019 goes by. \u00a0I haven\u2019t completed any novels and that pains me. \u00a0But I\u2019m not going to beat myself up about it – I\u2019m halfway through the final Singles Series novel and that definitely WILL be finished soon. \u00a0Sometimes my writing mojo loses its energy and I just have to go with that. \u00a0If there\u2019s one thing I have learned to accept in 2018 its that I have been a functioning depressive most of my adult life and that\u2019s all right. \u00a0I don\u2019t push myself, I do what I can, I say \u201cNo\u201d if I have to and all is well. \u00a0My back has been giving me terrible problems. \u00a0It aches so much if I go upstairs or walk for more than 5 minutes or so. \u00a0I\u2019ve had lots of tests and X-rays and have tried various treatments but so far nobody can tell me what\u2019s causing the pain and what can be done for it.<\/p>\n
In 2018 I lost one of my oldest, dearest friends and that shook me to the core. \u00a0I was and still am totally bereft. \u00a0It was a huge shock and I still find it hard to accept she\u2019s gone, especially as we\u2019d had lunch together just a couple of days before and she was on top form. \u00a0And I miss her.<\/p>\n
A cousin chose to cut me from her life; she blocked me on Facebook. \u00a0Not unfollowed or unfriended but blocked. Yes, I know; beyond childish. \u00a0But I accept that\u2019s her choice. \u00a0I have no idea why but then again that\u2019s not my business. \u00a0She\u2019s fighting her own demons and I let her go with love and wish her well.<\/p>\n
In 2019 we are resurrecting Melabeau and have plans for putting on productions which I am very excited about. \u00a0I\u2019ve reworked an old play what I wrote and that\u2019s going to be our first show. \u00a0 I\u2019ll keep you posted about what we\u2019re staging and where during the year.<\/p>\n
So – here we are then. \u00a0New Year\u2019s Eve. \u00a0I shall raise my (large) glass of Bailey\u2019s to you all, dear Readers, to all my family and friends the world over and also to myself. \u00a0Because with all the set-backs, ill-health and flagging mojo I\u2019ve made it through. \u00a0And look forward to all the challenges, excitement and good times 2019 is going to bring.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So – here we are. \u00a0The last day of 2018. \u00a0I am not a huge fan of New Year\u2019s Eve, I must admit. \u00a0I can\u2019t stand all the Resolutions – why set yourself up for failure? \u00a0I know that sounds … Continue reading