No silicone needed!
I really missed the Lady on the Hill as the Fella calls her when he refers to the wonderful Jocelyn and her super-delicious barbecued food. Every Friday and Saturday, she opens up a grill on the front porch of her house (on the hill overlooking Gray’s Farm) to serve the best – and I do mean THE BEST – burgers and barbecued chicken and ribs on Antigua. She was away for two months visiting her sister in Canada but she came back three weeks ago. However, the hill’s a difficult place to get to without transport, so it was a huge treat when I had use of a car yesterday and I was able to go and see her to get a burger and fries – a bargain at $13 EC.
When I pulled up two women were sitting chatting with Jocelyn, one eating chicken and rice while the other one waited for her food. We’d just greeted each other and I’d placed my order when the younger of the two women said to me, “Are you a white woman?” I know I’ve got a tan, but I still look white, at least I think I do, so I said I was. “No, but fully white?’ she insisted. Then I laughed because I realised where the conversation was heading.
“You’re referring to my butt, right?” I said. “Yes! You see?” She turned to the woman who was eating. “She’s not built like a white woman at all.” The woman who was eating obviiously works in a hotel. “I see lots of them with big butts,” she said, nodding her head. “But, so big?” the other one said.
Erm, excuse me, ladies, I’m still here!
Jocelyn then joined in to say that she’d always assumed I had some black ancestry because she’d noticed my shape. This led to much nodding and agreement from the other two. “A lot of white women add Botox and silicone, but you don’t need it,” she observed to another round of nodding and agreement. It was impossible to take offence as there was absolutely no malice or bitching in their comments. They were simply commenting on what they saw. So, I then told them the story of how on my second day in Antigua way back in 2003, I was in Jolly Harbour and a local guy asked me if I had a Caribbean grandmother because he’d “never seen a white woman with an arse that size”. (I actually used that scene in Singles’ Holiday when Suzanne wanders into the village and stops to buy a mango.) This led to more agreement and then questions as to whether I had an Antiguan “husband” as they were sure he would appreciate my shape.
I paid for my supper, bid them good night and got back in the vehicle to the sound of their continued wonder at my rear. And I laughed all the way home. I think it’s inconceivable that conversation would take place anywhere else, certainly not in England, well, not without been barbed and full of malice. Yet here, I’m the White Woman with the Big Bottom who lives in Five Islands. Kim Kardashian, who’s she? Fame at last!
I love it and will think of that tomorrow to cheer me upxx